I stayed up until 1:18 last night. Well I got in bed at that time. My brain felt as if it disconnected with its spinal stem and was just floating and spinning like some shell shocked goldfish. Crunch time. I was supposed to have started the indiegogo campaign at midnight, but one more detail needs to be added to the trailer. I must have that detail before I go public. This has to be done right.
And while I’m staring up in the ceiling, I’m thinking about having to raise the funding level from 25 thousand to 28 thousand because crowdfunding sites like indiegogo take a percentage off of what you raise. If you don’t reach your goal, as a matter of fact, the percentage they take doubles. I also didn’t factor in the cost for producing some of the perks I’m giving those who contribute. T-shirts, DVDs… that stuff doesn’t just appear out of thin air… not to mention the postage and handling of getting it to them. I felt my shirt cling to that sweat down the spine again.
After about four hours of sleep, I get up this morning eating a block of banana bread (it’s a quick breakfast that allows me to be in front of the computer and type with one hand) and constantly checking my e-mail. The wi-fi signal’s slow. Great. I think about when it’s completely up and the trailer finally comes in… Am I really about to raise 28 thousand dollars? What if I don’t get us anywhere near the goal? Isn’t that some huge public embarrassment or something? Can I achieve this without sounding like some stunted multi-level, network marketing type that forces the subject into every damn interaction? Am I selling myself short by not being that way? (Could have sworn people gravitated to me because of how I am naturally.) I check my phone, the computer. No trailer yet. This wi-fi… man, Comcast’s got jokes.
INTERMISSION (Gotta walk my 8 year-old to the bus stop for school)
I notice my mood picks up on the smallest aggravations. The stupid truck that comes to lift and empty the garbage cans out front, the fork it uses to do it is putting divots in my grass. The annoying click in my shoulder, where my rotator cuff aches, is almost in perfect cadence with my stride as I drag the dog down the street. My mouth is as dry as toast (I seem to get that when I’m intense about something). On the way back, a neighbor explains that there’s some solar sun thing that’s messing up the wi-fi for everyone.
I didn’t plan on spitting all this out this morning… but it’s what’s on my mind – and Kevin Hart would do it. He speaks about his insecurities and people love and respect him for it. All I know is just typing this out is making it easier to breathe. I think about having reached out to my family last night via email to see if they can chip in on some of the pre-fundraising expenses racked up. Them doing so keeps things clean (i.e. me from making my household sacrifice even more because of this project). It would also provide promotional resources to take the campaign to the next level.
Now for the Kevin Hart pep talk. Even though the project is about a relatively positive character, I believe he is more than flawed enough to be compelling. Yeah, I can do this! It’s going to work. People will respond. The whole project is about folks reaching out in spite of themselves. This experience is invaluable. I’m learning how to raise funds. At first, I was just an artist writing things, waiting for someone to pick it up and execute for me. Now I am an executive producer, making it happen for myself, which means I can do this for other people’s projects in the future. Whatever we raise is more than what we have now. We can do this. Inhale. Exhale. Oh snap, the trailer’s ready. Time to get turnt up.